I met Coley through the 2011 Adoption Bloggers Interview Project. She placed her son for adoption in 2001, and her blog  Living the Bittersweet Life, talks about her life as a birthmother. You can also find her at Coley’s Corner. Here are the questions she answered for me, and you can see my interview on her blog.

Tell me about your husband and kids.

I had my first son, Noah, in 1996 at the age of 19. Noah has Cerebral Palsy, Epilepsy, and Autism.Things did not work out with his dad and I moved on. Noah’s currently 15 years old. He is definitely a handful but he is also a heart full too!

I became pregnant with Charlie in 2001 due to a failed depo provera (birthcontrol) shot. Charlie’s birthfather did not want to be involved in his life. After many sleepless nights, I chose open adoption for Charlie and placed him with his family after spending 3 days with him in the hospital.

I actually started dating my husband, J, when I was pregnant with Charlie. He was a great support to me during the placement process. Two years after Charlie was born we got married on a baseball field before a minor league baseball game. Charlie was at my wedding, although he was too small to participate. His Mom was a bridesmaid and his sister a flower girl.

What made you start blogging about your life as a birthmom?

I have a personal/family blog, Coley’s Corner (http://coleybelle.blogspot.com/) where I blog about family life, raising a child with special needs, and share lots of my craft projects. After awhile I decided I wanted a separate place where I could blog about my feelings about adoption and being a birthmother, thus The Bittersweet Life (http://livingthebittersweetlife.wordpress.com) was born.

What’s your favorite post and why?

My favorite post is titled Being a Birthmom is Bittersweet and in it I talk about some of the things I’ve experienced in open adoptionthat are sweet but also bitter at the same time.

How has your attitude toward adoption changed since Charlie wasborn?

Before Charlie was born, I didn’t know very much about adoption at all. Now, I have learned so much about adoption. Before I got pregnant with Charlie, if you had asked me a question about adoption, I probably would have told you it was a happy thing for all involved. How naïve I was! Now, I know that there is agreat deal of pain involved for all parts of the triad. I really think that adoption should be a last resort – if a Mother can parent, then I think she should at least give it a try. But there are still circumstances in which I think adoption is an appropriate solution. And although my circumstances in life have changed since I was pregnant with Charlie, I still know in my heart that I made the best decision I could for him at that point in time.

What were your hopes for Charlie when he was born? What are they now?

For the most part, I think my hopes and dreams for Charlie are just like the hopes and dreams of many other Mothers and they really haven’t changed much over the years. I hope that he is healthy, happy, and has a good life. I hope he grows up to be a good, well rounded individual. I hope that he finds love and happiness. I hope that he feels loved.

But where those hopes differ from those of other Mothers is that I hope he doesn’t feel abandoned by me. I hope he isn’t angry and I hope that he understands I made the best decision I could at the time. And I hope he knows that I love him – totally, completely, and unconditionally no matter what.

3 Responses to “Introducing Coley: Adoption Interview Project”

  1. Kelly Says:

    Stopping by from the Interview Project! So great to be introduced to another blogger!

  2. Coley Says:

    I actually placed my second son in 2001 not 1996. :)

  3. kate Says:

    Glad to come across this via the interview project- great interview. -kate

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